


In Remembrance of Youth

by ironicbird



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Superboy (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, mentions of blood and other injuries, relationship arguing but they will make up eventually i promise im not that evil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicbird/pseuds/ironicbird
Summary: Relationships can be tricky things, especially when people aren't on the same page. Breaking a relationship is easier than forming one, but nothing is permanent with the right kind of apology.(Summary will be edited to be less vague when the second chapter is released, I just don't want to give away the twist yet lol)
Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	In Remembrance of Youth

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so things to know about this story…I’m setting it in the pre-New 52 universe but a few years after that universe ended so Tim and Conner are both roughly in their early twenties. This is an established relationship fic so they’ve been dating for a couple of years or so.
> 
> I'm being purposely vague on everything right now because I want to build suspense but everything should start making sense with the second chapter and I'll edit the summary and tags and stuff. For now, I'm just setting things up.
> 
> I’m also experimenting with something…instead of writing most of the fic before I post it, I’m going to take it chapter by chapter. I am notoriously terrible about finishing fics that I start posting before I’m at least 90% done with it so this is an open and lasting invitation to anonymously yell at me through my [Tumblr ask box](https://scarletbirbs.tumblr.com/ask) until I get this done. Just don’t yell at me like, two days after the chapter posts cause I obviously can’t write that fast but if it’s been like a month without an update, it’s open season. But I want to prove to myself that I can finish a fic while releasing it like this.

Conner hated when he argued with Tim.

Disagreements were a normal part of any relationship. You have to let out some tension or else everything could snap and break. But there is a healthy way to resolve issues such as these and an unhealthy way to do so.

Normally, Tim and Conner would just argue for a bit, but they would always manage to resolve their problem, kiss, and make up. Not to mention their disagreements were usually not so incredibly important. They would argue about Tim getting enough rest, where they would patrol that night, who would clean up after dinner, etc.

Tonight, however, was a different beast. The evening had begun with Conner flying to Gotham for their bi-weekly movie night. They had both decided when they started dating to set aside some time each week to meet up outside of superheroing to do relationship type things. So every other week, they met up for a movie night, while on the other weeks they would find some time during the day to do something. Although, their daytime dates usually ended up just being Conner meeting Tim in Gotham for his lunch break, as Tim was usually quite busy with Wayne Enterprises work.

A gentle rain had started to fall right after Conner arrived at Tim’s apartment, so the two of them broke out the blankets and hot cocoa and settled on the couch for the movie. It was Conner’s turn to pick, so he had brought Ma’s old DVD copy of _The Godfather_. Tim had scoffed at the fact that Conner still had DVDs, to which Conner had retorted that Tim was one to talk, considering he still had a DVD player.

It was nice to relax for a bit and enjoy each other’s company. Conner was sprawled on the couch with his legs up on the cushions. Tim had settled on the couch similarly, but with his back against Conner’s chest. Being this close to Tim had a calming effect on Conner, as he didn’t have to listen across the world for Tim’s heartbeat. Instead, he could feel the gentle thrum of Tim’s heart on his chest, he could smell Tim’s shampoo, and feel his warmth. It kept him grounded and made him feel at peace.

Everything had been going great until halfway through the movie, when Tim had paused it without warning and turned around so that he was seated on Conner’s lap, facing him. Conner had looked at Tim confused, wondering what was up. Tim’s eyes had darted to the side and he had chewed on the corner of his lip as he hesitated, clearly trying to drum up the courage to say something. Conner waited patiently, knowing that Tim tended to overthink things, so sometimes he needed a moment to make decisions to act when he felt unsure of them.

“Move in with me,” Tim had said, his eyes dark and serious. Conner’s eyebrows had raised as his eyes widened, being caught completely off guard by Tim’s statement.

“I…uh…what?” Conner had eventually sputtered with less eloquence than he had desired.

“We’ve been together for long enough now, and it feels like we’re ready for the next step,” Tim had replied, “I’ve been thinking about it for a while now and I want you to move in with me.”

“Move here…to Gotham?” Conner had said slowly, still processing.

Tim nodded, “I know you’re still living at the farm, so it would only make sense for you to move here and not vice versa. Plus, I have to stay close to Wayne Enterprises for work.”

Conner had felt his heart start racing as he finally processed the magnitude of Tim’s proposal. Tim must have been thinking about this for a long time. Tim valued his privacy and his time alone, so letting Conner into both of those worlds in such an intimate way was not a decision that he would have taken lightly. He was serious. This proposition was serious.

Conner would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit excited about the prospect of sharing a domestic life. Getting to wake up besides Tim every single morning, rather than once every two weeks. Cooking meals together, running errands together, kissing each other goodbye each morning and welcome home each evening, it almost sounded too good to be true.

Perhaps that’s because it was? As great as it sounded, logistically it would be extremely difficult. First off, Conner wasn’t exactly sure how Batman would feel about a Kryptonian moving into his city. Perhaps Tim had already talked it through with him? But even if Conner was permitted to live in the city, he would always feel a bit uneasy about his welcome.

Secondly, Conner had responsibilities on the farm. Part of the reason that he still lived there, despite the fact that he had already graduated high school, was because Ma was really struggling as she reached her old age. The changes were subtle and gradual, but Conner could tell the difference even between when he had first moved in with her versus now. He would find her struggling to reach things on shelves that she had been able to reach previously. She was panting more and taking breaks even when she just went to get the mail. Conner had been doing his best to take care of her while balancing everything else, but if he moved in with Tim, he wouldn’t be there for Ma when she needed him. If it was just the farm chores holding him back, he could fly back and forth every day to take care of them, but with Ma, he never knew when he would need to take care of her. Not to mention, she was a stubborn old woman and would not accept help if she knew that it would be a hassle for Conner.

And finally, as much as Conner was excited of the prospect of living with Tim, he was nervous too. Tim was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and Conner was worried that by living together, he would somehow screw it up. At least before, when they had spats or disagreements, they were able to storm off to different places to cool down. Now, they would be sharing the same space. The increased proximity felt daunting, a new challenge that Conner wasn’t sure he could handle.

“Hey,” Tim had interrupted Conner’s internal argument by gently placing a hand on Conner’s forearm, “You okay? You’ve been quiet for a while.”

Conner had swallowed nervously, “Yeah, I uh…was just thinking about it.”

“And?” Tim had questioned softly, as if he was somewhat afraid of the answer.

Conner had looked down, “Are you sure this is the right time? I know you have responsibilities in Gotham, but I have responsibilities on the farm too.”

Tim had furrowed his brows, “Can’t you fly back and forth?”

Conner had sighed, “I can, but I’m worried about Ma. She’s been really struggling recently, and I want to be there to help her.” Of course, Conner was worried about Ma, but part of him started to wonder if somewhere deep down he was just trying to use her as a crutch, an excuse to get out of this.

“I can understand that, but I’m sure we can talk to Clark and work something out between the two of you to ensure that she is always taken care of,” Tim had replied, “You can’t live on the farm forever.”

“No, I know,” Conner had said, “But I also don’t think it’s fair to just leave her. Also, is your dad okay with this? He usually isn’t very happy about any heroes outside of your family living in Gotham.”

Tim had waved a hand dismissively, “He’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Tim had stared intensely into Conner’s eyes, as if he were searching for something under Conner’s skin, something deeper. Behind him, the window had flashed with light followed by the loud rumble of thunder. The once gentle rain had started picking up in intensity, the raindrops pelting on the glass like tiny bullets.

“It’s too early for this isn’t it?” Tim had said, “You’re not ready.”

Conner had shaken his head, “No, that’s not it. I’m just-“

“You’re just what?” Tim had interrupted, “Because it sounds to me like you’re just looking for any excuse not to move in so you can to let me down easy.”

Conner brought a hand to his forehead, his fingers grasping the roots of his hair, “That’s not it.”

“Isn’t it?” Tim had said, hints of anger creeping into his voice, “It’s okay if you’re not ready, but I’d rather you say that to my face than try to lie to me.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Conner had replied, his tone also growing sharper to match Tim’s.

“Yes, you are,” Tim had said, “There’s something else there and don’t insult me by claiming that there’s not.”

Conner had sighed, “I don’t know what to tell you, Tim.”

“I just want you to be honest with me,” Tim had replied.

Oh, how Conner had wanted to be honest with Tim. However, Conner wasn’t even true what the truth was. He was truly concerned about Ma handling herself without him, but after Tim said the bit about excuses, Conner wasn’t sure if he was using that as a flimsy justification just to mask his fear. Despite the many whispered reassurances from Tim in the most serene hours of the night, the fear of somehow becoming evil like Lex and hurting his friends and family again continued to haunt him. Perhaps this fear was driving this response? Was it that he didn’t trust himself to not hurt Tim?

The silence had stretched from seconds to minutes. Sharp _tak tak taks_ of small hailstones had pounded against the window, drowning out the soft sounds of air exhaling from their lungs.

Eventually, Conner had taken a deep breath and responded, “I really just don’t know.”

Tim had looked down, “Well maybe,” he had said, not making eye contact with Conner, “Maybe you should go and take some time to figure it out.”

Conner had raised his eyebrows in surprise as Tim climbed off of the couch and stood up. The implication was clear enough. Tim had wanted him to leave. So, he did. Slowly, and full of apologies he wasn’t sure how to say.

This was why Conner was now flying though the pelting rain, regretting and hurting from his argument with Tim. Reliving every moment as he made his way back towards Smallville. This had been their biggest argument yet. Ironic, that Conner’s fear of screwing things up by moving in with Tim might have screwed up their relationship anyways.

He wanted to punch something. Feel the crack of concrete on his knuckles, the splitting of the rock from his sheer strength. It wouldn’t solve his problems, but it would feel damn good to let out some of these frustrations on a surface that couldn’t feel pain.

If Conner had been younger, he would have just punched the pavement beneath him. However, with age came maturity, and with maturity came the realization that doing so would cause major property damage, or at least a pothole a block wide. Once he got out of the more populated areas and into the countryside, he could take out his frustrations on a boulder or something.

The rain was slowing his progress back to the farm, but the hurt was slowing him even more. Hard to fly on a distracted mind, even in good weather.

Things had been great between the two of them. Why did Conner have to go and mess everything up? It was like his brain had activated its panic response when Tim had posed the question. Everything in his head was screaming for him to run, get away, and regroup. It had overwhelmed him. In the past, Conner had defeated villain after villain without a problem and had even succumbed to death. Yet, out of all of those experiences, this scared him the most.

This fear had caused him to hurt someone he cared about, and that was chewing away at him. It was something he simply could not stand. Conner had hurt his friends before, when Luthor had controlled him, and it was one of his greatest fears to hurt them again. Conner may not have hurt Tim physically, yet he still caused pain to someone he loved.

Conner stopped in his tracks, hovering above the bustling roadway below. Did he just say, loved?

He loved Tim. Conner _loved_ Tim.

Conner had never used the big L word when thinking about Tim. He knew that he cared deeply about Tim, but neither one of them had ever said “I love you” to the other. But it was true, wasn’t it? He loved Tim.

He couldn’t leave town the way they had left things. Conner had to go back and say sorry, and patch things up as best as they could. Conner loved Tim. They would get through this, but only if he made things right.

Conner flew back towards Tim’s apartment faster than he had left it, the aching in his heart spurring him forward. All he wanted was to hold Tim in his arms and whisper soft apologies until he had nothing left to say. He couldn’t stop until he had fixed everything.

The window was dark as Conner flew up to the apartment. Had Tim left? A quick scan of the building with his x-ray vision showed that there was no one there. As Conner landed on the balcony, his vision focused on what appeared to be a note, resting on the kitchen counter. He entered the room and grabbed the note.

“ _Went out. Will talk later. Tim.”_ The writing on the note was very hastily scribbled in black ink. The pen was resting with its cap off right beside the paper. Tim had written this in a hurry.

Of course, the content of the note would be vague and give absolutely no indication of how Tim was feeling. The man knew how to hide himself behind layers and walls even in text form. Conner was surprised though, the fact that Tim had left a note indicated that he somehow expected Conner to come back. Conner supposed they both just needed to let of some steam.

Conner debated trying to go find Tim while he was out patrolling, or to wait in the apartment for him to get back. He knew Tim probably just needed some time to himself, so it probably wouldn’t be good to interrupt that. Tim would come back when he was ready. But on the other hand, every bone in Conner’s body was aching to sweep Tim up in his arms and fix everything with the greatest thing that ever happened to him.

His debate was answered for him by a faint cry of “ _Superboy!”_ that he could hear off in the distance. It was Tim’s voice. Conner was out of the building like a rocket, not even hesitating. Tim was in trouble, there was not even a millisecond to waste. Tim wouldn’t call him unless it was dire, so he knew this was urgent.

Conner swept the city with his vision from the skies trying to identify Tim’s location. He finally spotted Tim about twenty blocks away, and immediately zoomed to his location.

Tim was sprawled on a rooftop, his Red Robin uniform torn and tattered. Blood was everywhere, on his clothes, on his skin, on his lips. Tim’s breath was shallow, like every inhale was a monumental task. Conner scanned the surrounding area, but he didn’t see any sign of who could have done this to him. The area was deserted.

Conner landed next to Tim, kneeling down by his side. Tim slowly turned his head to face Conner.

“You came,” he said weakly.

“Of course I came, why wouldn’t I?” Conner replied scanning Tim’s body for the sources of his injuries, “What happened?”

“Some guys…completely blindsided me,” Tim said, “I thought they were some normal goons that I could handle, but then they pulled out some sort of weapons that I had never seen before.”

“And they just left you here and ran?” Conner replied, getting angry. He didn’t want the people who did this to get away with it.

“I guess they thought my wounds would finish me off,” Tim gave a frail smile, “They didn’t realize I had a super boyfriend to save me.”

“Well, walk me through it wonder boy. Where are you injured and where am I taking you to get it fixed?” Conner asked urgently.

Before Tim could answer, the door to the stairwell flung open behind them and a sudden fire ignited in Conner’s veins, causing him to fall to the ground besides Tim. The pooled blood on the pavement stained Conner’s skin and clothes.

Kryptonite. He had experienced it enough times to recognize the signs. His entire body burned and felt like a trillion pounds all at the same time.

No. No. Not like this. Not when Tim needed immediate medical attention.

Conner fought through the pain to raise his head and identify where the Kryptonite exposure was coming from. He spotted three masked and armored men walking from the stairwell towards Conner and Tim. The ones on the sides held guns pointed straight at Conner and Tim, while the one in the middle held an opened lead box with a piece of glowing green Kryptonite inside. Their armor was unmarked, so there was no way of telling who they worked for, but Conner knew the list of people with access to Kryptonite in the world was very small. These men were approaching Tim and Conner slowly and cautiously, seeming to be sizing up the situation and preparing for an attack.

Conner dug into the very depths of himself and using what strength he could muster, lunged at the goon in the front with the Kryptonite box. If he could just get the box and close it, then he could take care of the rest of the armored men and get Tim the help he needed.

Before he even reached the assailant with the Kryptonite, a loud _boom_ of a gunshot echoed through the soft pitter patter the rain. To anyone else, it would have been assumed to be a crack of thunder on a night like this. But for Conner, it meant a dart striking him in the shoulder, embedding itself in his skin. The feeling was unusual, it wasn’t common for Conner to be shot with anything. He pulled the dart out of his skin and held it in his hand. Conner was staring at it, trying to distinguish what exactly it was, as the world started spinning. His vision blurred and his knees buckled as he collapsed to the ground.

The last thing he remembered before the world went black, was seeing Tim’s blood-streaked hair, and thinking that he once again failed the person he loved.

**Author's Note:**

> Ooooh I feel evil leaving off a chapter like this, but you know it’s just the beginning of the story. I wouldn’t leave you here forever. I’ll just leave you here until I upload the next chapter lmao.
> 
> Tbh I think Ma Kent would be mad if she found out that Conner tried to use her as an excuse to not move in with his boyfriend. She wouldn’t want to hold Conner back and would want him to be happy above anything else.
> 
> I dunno how I feel about my characterizations in this chapter but in order for the story to go where I wanted it to go, I needed them to fight. And I do think that I made the fight pretty tame, it definitely could’ve gone nastier, but I’d like to think of them as the sort of couple that doesn’t fight super often, so smaller fights for other people are bigger fights for them. I dunno. I dunno, I’m just not super happy with this chapter but I don’t really know how to fix it so I’m just going to roll with it lmao.
> 
> Also to be clear, they are both somewhat in the wrong here and I should talk more about that later in the story. Inb4 someone thinks I’m villainizing one or the other in the argument. I’m not, I’m just only speaking from one perspective so you don’t get the other side…yet :)  
> Either way hope you enjoyed! Remember, feel free to hit me up on my [Tumblr](https://scarletbirbs.tumblr.com/) or [Twitter](https://twitter.com/scarletbirbs) but I’m way more active on Tumblr, so please yell at me to write the next chapter there. As of the time I’m posting this chapter, anon asks are on so feel free to scream at me.


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